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Greg Sellnow: Electronics shoot could put us on map
5/23/2009 7:00:01 AM
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I ran across a short crime story about a guy with a rifle and a DVD player a couple of weeks ago that gave me an idea for a fundraiser. Bear with me on this.
Police in Austin arrested a man when someone reported hearing gunshots in the vicinity of his home.
It seems the guy was irritated that his DVD player wasn't working right, so he did what some of us who aren't under the influence of alcohol have probably considered but rejected when the sane half of our brains prevailed. He took out his rifle, loaded it and shot the blasted contraption.
This sort of thing isn't all that unusual. Authorities in Joplin, Mo., earlier this year arrested a man for unlawful discharge of a firearm after he used a rifle to assassinate his television set. The reason? He was having a devil of a time trying to figure out his new converter box.
Then there are the stories about Elvis Presley, whose friends say he would shoot TV sets fairly regularly, just for sport. And there are amateur videos of computers and television sets being blasted by everything from submachine guns to a weapon that uses potatoes for ammunition.
I wouldn't advise shooting electronic devices in your backyards unless you live in rural Wyoming. Neighbors in these parts tend to get jumpy when they hear gunshots, and call the police. Even if it's for a perfectly legitimate purpose, such as releasing your frustrations over a balky computer or Wi-fi receiver.
Here's where the fundraiser idea comes in. Regular readers of this column know that I'm not a big fan of fundraising "walks." Organizers of these events have their hearts in the right places. But let's face it, asking people to walk in circles around Silver Lake or a high school track is a pretty boring way to raise money. Yes, you will get the dedicated supporters of your cause to do this, or just about anything, for that matter. But if you want to draw more than just the "regulars," I'd recommend trying something a bit more unusual.
Biking or running contests are more exciting, but not everyone is able or interested in athletic competition. Concerts and golf tournaments are fun ways to raise money for a cause, too. But some of us can't hit a golf ball straight, or aren't cerebral enough to enjoy country music.
Granted, not everyone is interested in shooting the lights out of a dying printer or an outdated laptop, either. I'm just offering this up as a fundraising alternative.
I know, I know it sounds a little violent. And I'm sure I'll raise the ire of the anti-gun crowd. But I envision this being done under the strict supervision of gun experts and in a place where there's absolutely no chance of collateral damage.
If the thought of gunfire to raise money is just way too weird for your group (this is Rochester, after all), how about staging an event where folks can drop these same objects from the balcony of a tall structure such as the Mayo Building or whatever they're calling that tall building at Broadway and First Street Southeast these days?
This isn't a new concept. Dropping stuff from buildings was a semi-regular feature on David Letterman some years back, but I haven't heard of anyone in southeastern Minnesota who's done it as a fundraiser.
I know this idea is probably going to earn me a lot of mail from people who will argue that, yes, walking in circles is boring but -- unlike computer- or TV-sniping -- at least it's non-violent, environmentally friendly and productive, rather than destructive.
And they might be right. Maybe I'm the only one between here and the Canadian border who thinks this might work. I'm just throwing it out there in my unending quest to make this little corner of the world a more interesting place to live.
